It's like falling. Until you realised you've only medicated yourself with an alcoholic beverage.
Then it's just crashing. Realising you can't forget everything.
Because it feels like a thousand watts of electricity have been set free in every inch of my body.
He makes my all-too-permanent heartache disappear and its like bungy jumping from the sky a million times.
And I'm happy.
The sun starts to rise so I climb out of bed, walk into the kitchen and grab my tablets and start emptying out the packet.
"Corey! What the hell are you doing?" Mum yells.
She grabs the half empty box of zyprex off me.
"I miss him."
"He isn't real Corey!"
"HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT LOVES ME"
"I love you, Andre loves you."
"Not in the same way!"
"Corey, you don't need some invisible humans love!" She starts crying. My heart sinks.
"Mum, you don't understand. You have no idea what it's like to be like this!"
"I WANT TO UNDERSTAND COREY. I'm taking you to the hospital"
"No. I hate it there. It's like being locked up in a straight jacket